F*CK YOU Friday

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It’s baaack! Did you miss F*CK YOU Fridays?  I did.  I tried to be good…

  • F*CK you to the parent at the softball game today who just couldn’t understand why her daughter was subbed out in the 4th inning.  She didn’t only play “ten minutes” (you were late) and she wasn’t “sitting in isolation”.  Everybody plays, even the JV girls that were brought up.  You literally sat there for an hour complaining (loudly) about how much you hate the coach, that it isn’t fair that your kid wasn’t playing even though she hasn’t missed one practice, and on and on and on.  Shut the f*ck up and f*ck you for making the rest of OUR daughter’s game miserable.  You write that nasty letter to the couch like you threatened…see if she makes Varsity next year.
  • F*CK you to the 78 people I invited to this year’s Sparkletini party who didn’t even bother to respond to the invitation.  I wanted to help out my friend with her jewelry business and she in turn was going to give a portion of her commission to Zombiegirl’s soccer team as a fundraiser.  I’m grateful to all the people who did come (four) and who did order (four more) but those people who didn’t even respond back (six of whom are parents on the soccer team) can kiss my ass.  I’m done supporting other people’s business ventures or going to parties so you can get hostess points (except for you, Jan!)  I know times are tight but FREE MARTINIS!  I would have been happy if you came just to support.  Not to even respond back is an asshole move.
  • F*CK you to my body.  You’re betraying me, dude.  I try to eat right for you, I try not to put bad shit into you and sometimes I even take you for a walk.  Why are you always causing me pain?  I’ve been in constant dull, aggravating pain for awhile now and it’s getting to the point where I’m going to have to see a doctor to confirm a few suspicions I have.  You don’t let me sleep anymore and you throw me off balance and I’ve had it.  F*CK you for getting old.
  • And a F*CK you to a specific body part- my uterus.  Ten months I haven’t had a period and you decide to remind me that you’re still around ON MY BIRTHDAY?  Timing, my friend- you suck at it.
  • F*CK you to all the presidential candidates this year.  F*CK you to all the American youth who think voting for Bernie will give you a free college education.  F*CK you to Hillary for even existing. F*CK you to all those people planning on voting for Hill just because she’s a woman.   F*CK you to Trump for being a clown. I am depressed just thinking about the upcoming November election.
  • F*CK YOU, Mayim Bialik. I loved you on Blossom and I love you on The Big Bang Theory, but your piece on Game of Thrones was crap.  Don’t talk about things you don’t know of (you admitted you haven’t watched the show) and don’t try to put an anti-feminist spin on GOT.  Compare some of the strongest women on TV against your character who just wants to have sex with Sheldon and get back to us, m’kay?

Anyone have any F*CK YOUs you want to list?  It feels so good to get it off your chest.  Speaking of chest, I’m off to get my boobs squeezed by a perfect stranger.  Don’t forget to schedule your yearly mammogram!

 

Stepping Over

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Here it is at the end of March and I can attest that it came in like a lion. The first week of March alone had me in and out of bed with migraines.  The added Magnesium I’ve been taking is helping, but the weather was just too tough for me to battle.

Speaking of battles, why do people have to be so obstinate? Lately, I can’t have a conversation with someone without being shut down.  It’s truly like talking to bricks, one-sided and very hard.   I obviously have something to say; I’m saying it in an intelligent manner and I’m saying it somewhat nicely (depending on the subject manner).  I would expect, when speaking with other intelligent beings that I would be able to finish a sentence before I’m spoken over, ignored or basically told to shut up.

Whatever. I’m waiting here at the end of the month for it to go out like a lamb.  I need a little calmness and serenity in my life.

I didn’t get much calmness and serenity these last few days with Zombiegirl’s 17th birthday the day before Easter. I was cooking and cleaning and wrapping and decorating for days.  Seventeen.  Damn. This year has and will be all about driving lessons and SATs and college fairs and boyfriends and prom dresses and college classes and mono and Varsity sports and Sportsmanship awards and Chipotle and The Witch’s Brew.  It’s a lot, Junior year.  And I know Senior year is going to be much busier.

That is why I’ve decided to leave my hobby job. Even though I loathed getting ready for it, I loved it the minute I walked  in the door.  I’ll miss the little extra cash I earned (so little after I satisfied my weird obsession with fabric) and I’ll miss (most) of the people that worked there.  I’ll also miss the very creative and talented customers who were always willing to tell me what they were working on, or bring projects back into the store specifically to show me what they made.  I won’t miss the conflicting and contradictory methods of management  or the aggravation of discovering empty product packaging (why buy a pack of needles when you can break open the pack and take one?)  I definitely won’t miss the constant cleaning up of misplaced items or half eaten candy bars.  I won’t miss the passive-aggressive notes left for us by management or the suspicion that one of our fellow workers would steal from us.  I won’t miss any softball or soccer games or dinners with my family and I’ll get my life back.

What the heck will I do with all my time?  <snort>

One foot in March and the other foot stepping lightly into April- springtime, renewal, simple times, that’s what I’m anticipating.

 

 

 

 

 

30 Day Simplicity Challenge- Day 12

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Does anyone else obsess and stress about the mess (!) between Christmas and the New Year?  During the few days I take off that week, I often go into full-on cleaning mode, clearing out the refrigerator and freezers, tackling the cabinets and pantry and organizing the drawers. Speaking to my Jewish friends, it’s similar to preparing for Passover, searching for “chametz” and “kashering” the appliances.

While I was cleaning out the freezer this year, I kept finding more and more dubious bags of…stuff. Stuff so covered over with ice that it was impossible to make out if it was meat or veggies. Or both. Heart breaking, I threw out tons of food and vowed never to let that happen again.

(Last night I pulled out what I thought was frozen eggplant and it turned out they were roasted hot peppers. SMH.)

My pantry is actually an 18″ wide closet on the side of the refrigerator. Which is great because everything is right there while I’m cooking. Not so great is the fact that it’s 24″ deep, which means stuff gets pushed to the back and forgotten until the week between Christmas and the New Year. I’ve been after MR to build me shelves that can be pulled out and the stuff in the back can be accessed. Remember, ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every six months about it.

(My favorite meme. Even MR liked that one.)

I can’t do anything about the black hole in my pantry right now, but I did do something about the black hole residing in the freezers. The door on the pantry cabinet is about four foot high, so I painted a large portion of the inside of that door with black chalkboard paint and noted each shelf and the downstairs freezer and inventoried each and every item in the freezer and marked it down on the blackboard. Now I’m able to see at a glance what we have and can erase and rewrite as we use and add food.

No more wasted food. And it’s easily found when we need it.

I tried to do an inventory on the stock of food in the basement, but I haven’t come up with an efficient way like the blackboard. I tried keeping a book on top of the fridge, but if I don’t see it immediately, I tend to ignore it. The stash downstairs is mostly canned food, bags of sugar and Costco-sized boxes, larger things that won’t fit in the pantry upstairs, but there are things down there that are used pretty often. So I came up with this idea:

DAY 12 of 30:

Make a list of 20 things you use often and put them in the note section of your phone. Whenever you see a sale on any of these things, stock up. 

Here’s mine:

  • Crushed tomatoes
  • Tomato paste
  • Breadcrumbs
  • Sugar
  • Brown Sugar
  • Flour
  • Rice
  • Butter
  • Olive Oil
  • Veg Oil
  • Parmesan Cheese
  • Laundry detergent
  • Mozzarella (blocks or shredded or both)
  • Cheddar cheese (blocks or shredded or both)
  • Seltzer
  • Orange juice
  • Chocolate almond milk (freezes better than regular almond milk)
  • Toothpaste
  • Tuna
  • Pasta

Mark on your phone list how many of the items you bought. If you use one, delete it from the number on your list. Keep a running tally even if it’s in the freezer and on the blackboard.  Keep an eye out for coupons for extra savings!

Do you have any other suggestions for pantry staples? What’s in YOUR freezer?

Updated!

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It’s been a really long time since I updated this blog. Some of the pages (at the top) were terribly old and sorely out of date. The WordPress theme was irritating me as well, so I went back to my old theme.

I had a good laugh at my “101 in 1001 days” page. All the things that were important to me at the time! All the things I didn’t do! Yeah, that needed an overhaul as well since I missed the deadline by a year.  Starting date: March 1st, 2016.

“About” has been updated with new family members and the passing of old ones. 😦

“Web Pals” and the gift list to me have been eradicated.  Most of my “pals” don’t post anymore and I seriously don’t need more “stuff”.

I added a few things to my “Bucket List” and “Links I Love”.

(Damn, posted this before I finished!  Blogging on the sly at work, with a three inch bit of screen showing is so not working.)

I haven’t been reading much other than “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and New York Magazine because something happened with my NY Public Library Card.  I’m not allowed to request books and I’m too lazy (and too cold) to walk the five very long blocks over there to straighten it out.  So my “1001 Books to Read Before I Die” has been unchanged.

I’m bringing back “F*CK You Fridays”, because even though my mood is on an even keel lately and once I get past this weekend I should be happy again, there are still some things in this world that piss me off.

And I have about two more weeks of Simplicity Challenge.

Stay tuned, y’all!

 

 

 

 

30 Day Simplicity Challenge- Day 11

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February sucks.

February is freaking cold.

February holds constant reminders of those I’ve lost.

For most of my adult life, I’ve hated February. From the contradiction of the LOVE holiday held in the coldest month of the year to the birthday of the person I miss most in my life, the onset of this month always makes me sad.  Add to that the birthday of the OTHER person I miss most plus the day she died, well, I just want to lay in bed and watch bad movies.  All day, every day.

Thankfully, February is the shortest month.  There is that.

We’ve had three snow storms already this month and along with them, snow migraines. The funny thing about my migraines however was the higher the snowfall, the less the migraines hurt.  And the cold, fresh clean air definitely helps relieve the symptoms and pain faster, so there is that.

Since I’m already sad, since I’ve been suffering from migraines the last thing I need to see on social media is everyone on vacation during winter break.  We’re prevented from doing anything on this winter break (Mono, working, new puppy). Beena and family drove down to Hilton Head to visit grandma and Dad and Dorothy drove down to Florida to go to Universal (to see Harry Potter World- yeah, he’s turning 80 this year. :/) I’m happy some of my family is getting out but sad that it’s not me, so I’m allowing myself a little wallowing and I’m using the excuse of the 30-day Simplicity Challenge (and Lent) to turn off my social media.

DAY 11 of 30:

Limit your time on social media.  Unplug.

  • I gave up Facebook for Lent.  This served two purposes- I don’t have to see all the wonderful vacations everyone is having and I’ve freed up precious time not posting and liking and commenting. I still have to check messages since MR is selling his coin rings because he hates Facebook, I have to act as intermediary.
  • I deleted the Snapchat app from my phone.  I downloaded the app because Zombiegirl uses it CONSTANTLY and I discovered the trainwreck from one of my hate-read blogs uses it.  I found that I was always on it refreshing to see if Z-girl or ThatWife (not going to link her- not giving her any clicks) posted anything new. I soon realized that Zombiegirl won’t Snapchat at me (or blocked me- even though she denies it) and ThatWife is just insufferable and unbearable to watch.  Deleting this app also saves me precious time and makes me less inclined to punch someone in the face.
  • I’m still using Instagram, but not scrolling through.  Upload and out.
  • Utah just got a Twitter account, and has been posting, but since she actually LIVES WITH US, I can have a conversation with her and find out what she’s been up to.  No need to check Twitter and I don’t tweet so not hard to give that up either.

I took off today and Friday to take Zombiegirl to a few restaurants we’ve never been to for lunch before I head to hobby job in the evening.  I’m calling it my vacation, m’kay?

 

 

 

30 Day Simplicity Challenge- Day 10

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DAY 10 of 30:

Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet your self-imposed goals.

  • Whether the 30 days of a challenge happen over 40 days or 50, I shall try not to feel bad over the fact that I can’t post every day.  Shit happens, life happens, God throws curve-balls- whatever.  Accept that you’re doing the best you can and celebrate that.

As each day crept by and I didn’t post another challenge, I felt guilty-like I have THOUSANDS of readers that I have to impress, lol.  There have been a few persons liking my posts and I have gained a few followers and I know that there are a few subscribers and I felt like I was letting y’all down.

Then I realized that I DO have a few readers and I have a few subscribers that want to read what I want to say and if they get pissed off that I’m not adhering to the one-a-day challenge religiously, I can tell them, with all humor and love, to piss off!  Seriously, it’s not like this is the Weather Channel and we’re all waiting to see if we’re going to be snowed in another day (we did).  It’s not like it’s the cliff-hanger to the latest medical drama and we didn’t find out if the daughter has a dreaded disease (Zombiegirl contracted Mononucleosis and it’s not fun at our house lately).  It’s not like we’re watching the Superbowl and cheering on our”favorite” team to win (they didn’t).

I’ll survive.  And you’ll certainly survive.  And if we don’t sweat the small stuff (like posting EVERY. SINGLE. DAY on this blog) our lives will be sweeter and simpler, right?

Please agree.  Please?

 

30 Day Simplicity Challenge- Day 9

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My husband has a theory.  He claims he knows exactly, within a few hours, when I’m going to get my period.  He claims that when I’m clumsy, when I’m making dinner and I drop things, my period is on the way. If he hears a spoon drop and he yells out, “Period’s coming”.  Methinks he’s the town crier or something.

It’s kind of nice that someone else keeps track of things like that.

It’s laughable when he does it these days, though.  As soon as something hits the floor, he’s informing the world of my impending bleed.  But lately, eight months to be exact, that bleed hasn’t shown up.  I gladly stopped all birth control around that time and thankfully, my period is among the missing.

So last night, when I dropped the fork I was using to flip the burgers, I had an epiphany.

Why am I constantly dropping things?  Why do all my tights and pantyhose have runs up the sides?  Why am I always tripping and sometimes falling?  Why do I spill things and why am I always losing stuff? It’s obviously not all because of my period…

Epiphany? Because I’m always rushing.

Yup.  This is what I came up with- I need to slow the fuck down.  And here goes the challenge for today:

DAY 9 of 30:

Move purposely.  Take care.  Slow down.  Become Grounded.

After I dropped the fork and saw the light, I tried something.  We were having French fries with the burgers and I inevitably, always, certainly drop a fry or three whenever I transfer them to a bowl from the cookie sheet.  Dogs hang out by my feet whenever I scoop up fries because they know.  This time, I took a deep breath and slowly spooned the fries off the cookie sheet into the bowl.  Spoon by spoon, I concentrated and moved with a purpose.  And I didn’t drop one.

This actually gave me joy.

The brain and the hands sometimes work against each other and rushing around makes matters worse.  At the age of 52 (going on 53) have I finally learned I shouldn’t bumble through life?  There is no shame in moving slowly as long as you’re moving with a purpose- and that’s what I was lacking- purpose. So, I will:

  • Try not to reach for things without contemplating what’s in the way (coffee cups, plants, soda cans, yogurt- all things I have knocked over on my desk and at home.)
  • Take care when dressing so nothing gets ripped or poked through.
  • Walk slowly and with care so that I don’t trip over my own feet or the cracks in the sidewalk.
  • Contemplate all movement so nails don’t get broken, fingers don’t get scraped and zippers don’t get stuck.

Think how simple life will be when nothing has to be cleaned up, sewn up, untangled or picked up.  This will be a fun experiment with the added bonus of not hearing MR yell from the living room.