I wonder:

-what the universe is trying to tell me?  In the last two days I have been “followed” by Greek imagery (ATLAS Cleaners, a license plate that said GREEK2, a MEDUSA head vinyl sticker on the back of a Mercedes, etc.., etc.)  Today I was speaking to the new girl and I asked her what her last name was.  When I got home, I was watching some coverage of the rebuilding in Ecuador and the structural engineer’s last name was the same as the new girl.  I’m not talking a common last name, either. What does it mean? Synchronicty abounds. What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

-why it takes two and a half months to get an appointment with a new General Practitioner?  I need a family doctor, someone who can oversee my health, and this doctor came highly recommended.  I’d say-by the time I finally get to see her,  I’ll forget why I needed her in the first place.

-why the Catholic High School attended by some of my friends kids decided to name their sports teams after 12 Greek (there it is again) deities?  Isn’t that paganism?

-where my next desk location will be?  In the span of 19 years, I’ve gone from a private office to a shared office (which was a converted store-room) to a window cubicle to a non-window cubicle to a trading desk.  Everyone in my office suite has moved to New Jersey (not going there!) and I’m next to move out.  If my desk progression is any indication, my next location should be the coat closet.

-what the hell you were thinking airing out your dirty family laundry? You have already been pegged as the bad guy, that little stunt didn’t help.  Grow the hell up and shut the f*ck up.

-why my tolerance for sports parents gets smaller and smaller each year?  There should be a rule that spectator parents have to keep quiet, or maybe just yell “YAY” during a game.  Parents should not make derogatory comments about any child on the field and should keep their yaps shut about the coach(es).  The last few games I’ve had to say something to the parents around me about shutting up and it just left a bad feeling that I had to do so. I sincerely hope these kids don’t hear the comments when they’re on the field.

-why my 17-year old speaks in a wholly different language than us?  Words like “bling” and “dab” and “chill” and “squad” all have totally different meanings than what Webster’s dictionary cites .  Add the weird meaning slang to her mumbling at us and I’m ready to go get my Xanax prescription refilled.

-why, after all these years doing my job, no one has listened to me when I’ve said that the procedures to execute a certain report are repetitive, tedious and asinine?  Finally, someone has stepped up and agreed with me and since she’s in a position of power, can implement the change to these procedures, making my life easier and the reports more comprehensive.  Of course, she’ll get all the credit, the raises and promotions as well.

-why is the Sweeney Todd song “Pirelli’s Miracle Elixir” on an endless loop in my head?

-when bloggers and social media mavens will stop calling their kids “littles”. It makes me as ragey as the term “kiddos” when referring to offspring.

-what this weird obsession older women have with dyeing their hair different colors. I’ve asked my kids to stop me if I ever express an interest to put purple/blue/pink streaks in my 60+ year old hair.  That’s about 10 years from now, if you’re counting.

-how much longer I have to keep this secret.

Anyone else wondering and pondering anything?




Insane In My Membrane


It’s said that each child gift their mothers with something to remember them by after they’re born.  All three of my kids left me little afflictions mementos that I still have to this day. All three pregnancies brought me up half a shoe size; now I wear a size 9 from a 7 1/2. Beena left me bulgy jelly belly that no amount of sit ups will erase.  I’ve been doomed to wear “mom” jeans (no low cut for me) for almost 30 years.  Utah left me with a streak of gray hair going down the middle of my head when I was a mere 27 years old.  Over these last 26 years, it’s been creeping and growing, but I have had a lot of fun playing with different shades of Clairol.  And dear Zombiegirl left me with rosacea on my cheeks and a propensity for sinus infections.

Doctors have told me to avoid sun, alcohol, spicy foods and stress in order to tame my rosacea.  Pfft, ain’t going to happen.  I can live with the rosy cheeks in order to enjoy a cold beer and Mexican food on the patio of our beach house.  Stress is unavoidable- I’m a mother commuting to a stupid job in New York City.  Tell me how to avoid stress in this case, please?

The sinus infections are something different, though.  The day I delivered Zombiegirl, I’m pushing and straining, eyes clamped shut to help concentrate on getting baby girl out of me.  I feel something give in the center of my face and feel warmth flowing out of my nose.  I thought I popped a blood vessel and my nose had started to bleed, but then I heard the doctor exclaim “Oh my God” (WHAT?) and “I’ve never seen that color green before!” (WHAT THE F*CK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?).  MR leaned over and wiped the bright green goop of snot off my face- I gave birth to a baby and a sinus infection.

Said sinus infection garnered me a private room for a few days after Z-girl was delivered and I’ve been suffering from them ever since.

About 10 years ago, my chiropractor recommended using a Neti pot to help with the sinus treatments she was giving me.  I don’t use it regularly, but I should. Since it helps relieve the symptoms of sinusitis, it should also cut down on the amount of episodes I get.  I can count on one hand the number of colds I’ve contracted over the years, so duh, maybe I can lessen the amount of infections I get.

A little research on the web led me to the perfect recipe for a “Sinus Missile“.  MR and I have been using it for a few days and it really helps knock things loose and clear things up.


12 drops Rosemary Pure Essential Oil
4 drops Tea Tree Pure Essential Oil
4 drops Eucalyptus Pure Essential Oil
1/2 tsp finely ground pure sea salt(you can grind the salt fine in your food processor)
2 cups filtered, purified, distilled or previously boiled water

I doubled the recipe, put it into a sterilized jar and shook it until the salt dissolved.  We’re both rinsing 3-4 times a day.  MR has been against the Neti for some weird reason, but now he sees the light.  Whenever you feel pressure in your ears, face, behind your eyes or in your teeth, hit it with a sinus missile and get some relief.

F*CK YOU Friday


It’s baaack! Did you miss F*CK YOU Fridays?  I did.  I tried to be good…

  • F*CK you to the parent at the softball game today who just couldn’t understand why her daughter was subbed out in the 4th inning.  She didn’t only play “ten minutes” (you were late) and she wasn’t “sitting in isolation”.  Everybody plays, even the JV girls that were brought up.  You literally sat there for an hour complaining (loudly) about how much you hate the coach, that it isn’t fair that your kid wasn’t playing even though she hasn’t missed one practice, and on and on and on.  Shut the f*ck up and f*ck you for making the rest of OUR daughter’s game miserable.  You write that nasty letter to the couch like you threatened…see if she makes Varsity next year.
  • F*CK you to the 78 people I invited to this year’s Sparkletini party who didn’t even bother to respond to the invitation.  I wanted to help out my friend with her jewelry business and she in turn was going to give a portion of her commission to Zombiegirl’s soccer team as a fundraiser.  I’m grateful to all the people who did come (four) and who did order (four more) but those people who didn’t even respond back (six of whom are parents on the soccer team) can kiss my ass.  I’m done supporting other people’s business ventures or going to parties so you can get hostess points (except for you, Jan!)  I know times are tight but FREE MARTINIS!  I would have been happy if you came just to support.  Not to even respond back is an asshole move.
  • F*CK you to my body.  You’re betraying me, dude.  I try to eat right for you, I try not to put bad shit into you and sometimes I even take you for a walk.  Why are you always causing me pain?  I’ve been in constant dull, aggravating pain for awhile now and it’s getting to the point where I’m going to have to see a doctor to confirm a few suspicions I have.  You don’t let me sleep anymore and you throw me off balance and I’ve had it.  F*CK you for getting old.
  • And a F*CK you to a specific body part- my uterus.  Ten months I haven’t had a period and you decide to remind me that you’re still around ON MY BIRTHDAY?  Timing, my friend- you suck at it.
  • F*CK you to all the presidential candidates this year.  F*CK you to all the American youth who think voting for Bernie will give you a free college education.  F*CK you to Hillary for even existing. F*CK you to all those people planning on voting for Hill just because she’s a woman.   F*CK you to Trump for being a clown. I am depressed just thinking about the upcoming November election.
  • F*CK YOU, Mayim Bialik. I loved you on Blossom and I love you on The Big Bang Theory, but your piece on Game of Thrones was crap.  Don’t talk about things you don’t know of (you admitted you haven’t watched the show) and don’t try to put an anti-feminist spin on GOT.  Compare some of the strongest women on TV against your character who just wants to have sex with Sheldon and get back to us, m’kay?

Anyone have any F*CK YOUs you want to list?  It feels so good to get it off your chest.  Speaking of chest, I’m off to get my boobs squeezed by a perfect stranger.  Don’t forget to schedule your yearly mammogram!


Stepping Over


Here it is at the end of March and I can attest that it came in like a lion. The first week of March alone had me in and out of bed with migraines.  The added Magnesium I’ve been taking is helping, but the weather was just too tough for me to battle.

Speaking of battles, why do people have to be so obstinate? Lately, I can’t have a conversation with someone without being shut down.  It’s truly like talking to bricks, one-sided and very hard.   I obviously have something to say; I’m saying it in an intelligent manner and I’m saying it somewhat nicely (depending on the subject manner).  I would expect, when speaking with other intelligent beings that I would be able to finish a sentence before I’m spoken over, ignored or basically told to shut up.

Whatever. I’m waiting here at the end of the month for it to go out like a lamb.  I need a little calmness and serenity in my life.

I didn’t get much calmness and serenity these last few days with Zombiegirl’s 17th birthday the day before Easter. I was cooking and cleaning and wrapping and decorating for days.  Seventeen.  Damn. This year has and will be all about driving lessons and SATs and college fairs and boyfriends and prom dresses and college classes and mono and Varsity sports and Sportsmanship awards and Chipotle and The Witch’s Brew.  It’s a lot, Junior year.  And I know Senior year is going to be much busier.

That is why I’ve decided to leave my hobby job. Even though I loathed getting ready for it, I loved it the minute I walked  in the door.  I’ll miss the little extra cash I earned (so little after I satisfied my weird obsession with fabric) and I’ll miss (most) of the people that worked there.  I’ll also miss the very creative and talented customers who were always willing to tell me what they were working on, or bring projects back into the store specifically to show me what they made.  I won’t miss the conflicting and contradictory methods of management  or the aggravation of discovering empty product packaging (why buy a pack of needles when you can break open the pack and take one?)  I definitely won’t miss the constant cleaning up of misplaced items or half eaten candy bars.  I won’t miss the passive-aggressive notes left for us by management or the suspicion that one of our fellow workers would steal from us.  I won’t miss any softball or soccer games or dinners with my family and I’ll get my life back.

What the heck will I do with all my time?  <snort>

One foot in March and the other foot stepping lightly into April- springtime, renewal, simple times, that’s what I’m anticipating.






30 Day Simplicity Challenge- Day 12


Does anyone else obsess and stress about the mess (!) between Christmas and the New Year?  During the few days I take off that week, I often go into full-on cleaning mode, clearing out the refrigerator and freezers, tackling the cabinets and pantry and organizing the drawers. Speaking to my Jewish friends, it’s similar to preparing for Passover, searching for “chametz” and “kashering” the appliances.

While I was cleaning out the freezer this year, I kept finding more and more dubious bags of…stuff. Stuff so covered over with ice that it was impossible to make out if it was meat or veggies. Or both. Heart breaking, I threw out tons of food and vowed never to let that happen again.

(Last night I pulled out what I thought was frozen eggplant and it turned out they were roasted hot peppers. SMH.)

My pantry is actually an 18″ wide closet on the side of the refrigerator. Which is great because everything is right there while I’m cooking. Not so great is the fact that it’s 24″ deep, which means stuff gets pushed to the back and forgotten until the week between Christmas and the New Year. I’ve been after MR to build me shelves that can be pulled out and the stuff in the back can be accessed. Remember, ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every six months about it.

(My favorite meme. Even MR liked that one.)

I can’t do anything about the black hole in my pantry right now, but I did do something about the black hole residing in the freezers. The door on the pantry cabinet is about four foot high, so I painted a large portion of the inside of that door with black chalkboard paint and noted each shelf and the downstairs freezer and inventoried each and every item in the freezer and marked it down on the blackboard. Now I’m able to see at a glance what we have and can erase and rewrite as we use and add food.

No more wasted food. And it’s easily found when we need it.

I tried to do an inventory on the stock of food in the basement, but I haven’t come up with an efficient way like the blackboard. I tried keeping a book on top of the fridge, but if I don’t see it immediately, I tend to ignore it. The stash downstairs is mostly canned food, bags of sugar and Costco-sized boxes, larger things that won’t fit in the pantry upstairs, but there are things down there that are used pretty often. So I came up with this idea:

DAY 12 of 30:

Make a list of 20 things you use often and put them in the note section of your phone. Whenever you see a sale on any of these things, stock up. 

Here’s mine:

  • Crushed tomatoes
  • Tomato paste
  • Breadcrumbs
  • Sugar
  • Brown Sugar
  • Flour
  • Rice
  • Butter
  • Olive Oil
  • Veg Oil
  • Parmesan Cheese
  • Laundry detergent
  • Mozzarella (blocks or shredded or both)
  • Cheddar cheese (blocks or shredded or both)
  • Seltzer
  • Orange juice
  • Chocolate almond milk (freezes better than regular almond milk)
  • Toothpaste
  • Tuna
  • Pasta

Mark on your phone list how many of the items you bought. If you use one, delete it from the number on your list. Keep a running tally even if it’s in the freezer and on the blackboard.  Keep an eye out for coupons for extra savings!

Do you have any other suggestions for pantry staples? What’s in YOUR freezer?



It’s been a really long time since I updated this blog. Some of the pages (at the top) were terribly old and sorely out of date. The WordPress theme was irritating me as well, so I went back to my old theme.

I had a good laugh at my “101 in 1001 days” page. All the things that were important to me at the time! All the things I didn’t do! Yeah, that needed an overhaul as well since I missed the deadline by a year.  Starting date: March 1st, 2016.

“About” has been updated with new family members and the passing of old ones. 😦

“Web Pals” and the gift list to me have been eradicated.  Most of my “pals” don’t post anymore and I seriously don’t need more “stuff”.

I added a few things to my “Bucket List” and “Links I Love”.

(Damn, posted this before I finished!  Blogging on the sly at work, with a three inch bit of screen showing is so not working.)

I haven’t been reading much other than “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and New York Magazine because something happened with my NY Public Library Card.  I’m not allowed to request books and I’m too lazy (and too cold) to walk the five very long blocks over there to straighten it out.  So my “1001 Books to Read Before I Die” has been unchanged.

I’m bringing back “F*CK You Fridays”, because even though my mood is on an even keel lately and once I get past this weekend I should be happy again, there are still some things in this world that piss me off.

And I have about two more weeks of Simplicity Challenge.

Stay tuned, y’all!





30 Day Simplicity Challenge- Day 11


February sucks.

February is freaking cold.

February holds constant reminders of those I’ve lost.

For most of my adult life, I’ve hated February. From the contradiction of the LOVE holiday held in the coldest month of the year to the birthday of the person I miss most in my life, the onset of this month always makes me sad.  Add to that the birthday of the OTHER person I miss most plus the day she died, well, I just want to lay in bed and watch bad movies.  All day, every day.

Thankfully, February is the shortest month.  There is that.

We’ve had three snow storms already this month and along with them, snow migraines. The funny thing about my migraines was the higher the snowfall, the less the migraines hurt.  And the cold, fresh clean air definitely helps relieve the symptoms and pain faster, so there is that.

Since I’m already sad, since I’ve been suffering from migraines the last thing I need to see on social media is everyone on vacation during winter break.  We’re prevented from doing anything on this winter break (Mono, working, new puppy). Beena and family drove down to Hilton Head to visit grandma and Dad and Dorothy drove down to Florida to go to Universal (to see Harry Potter World- yeah, he’s turning 80 this year. :/) I’m happy some of my family is getting out but sad that it’s not me, so I’m allowing myself a little wallowing and I’m using the excuse of the 30-day Simplicity Challenge (and Lent) to turn off my social media.

DAY 11 of 30:

Limit your time on social media.  Unplug.

  • I gave up Facebook for Lent.  This served two purposes- I don’t have to see all the wonderful vacations everyone is having and I’ve freed up precious time not posting and liking and commenting. I still have to check messages since MR is selling his coin rings because he hates Facebook, I have to act as intermediary.
  • I deleted the Snapchat app from my phone.  I downloaded the app because Zombiegirl uses it CONSTANTLY and I discovered the trainwreck from one of my hate-read blogs uses it.  I found that I was always on it refreshing to see if Z-girl or ThatWife (not going to link her- not giving her any clicks) posted anything new. I soon realized that Zombiegirl won’t Snapchat at me (or blocked me- even though she denies it) and ThatWife is just insufferable and unbearable to watch.  Deleting this app also saves me precious time and makes me less inclined to punch someone in the face.
  • I’m still using Instagram, but not scrolling through.  Upload and out.
  • Utah just got a Twitter account, and has been posting, but since she actually LIVES WITH US, I can have a conversation with her and find out what she’s been up to.  No need to check Twitter and I don’t tweet so not hard to give that up either.

I took off today and Friday to take Zombiegirl to a few restaurants we’ve never been to for lunch before I head to hobby job in the evening.  I’m calling it my vacation, m’kay?