It’s a Crunchy Life

So what do you think I’m doing with all these things?

Any guesses?  No?  With all those ingredients I made these:

WTF is all that, you ask?

Well… I’m going “crunchy”!

One of the fantastic websites I’ve found in the past few weeks is Crunchy Betty.  Leslie is an advocate for “putting food on your face” and living the crunchy way.  WTF is the “crunchy way”, you ask?  According to Urban Dictionary, the term “crunchy” refers to anyone who has “adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons.”  I’ve been adjusting and altering my lifestyle for environmental reasons for years now- becoming a vegetarian, recycling, cutting down on consumerism, canning, blah-crunchy-blah.  I was embracing crunchiness for years now and never had a name for it!

Crunchy Mamasoo.  I like it.

Much to my daughters chagrin, I’ve recently taken the crunchy a step further.  Using all the all-natural stuff in the first picture, I made all the wonderful, all-natural stuff in the second picture.  Stuff like Rosacea Toner, Alvin Corn Window Cleaner, Orange Blossom Deodorant and Oil Face Cleanser.

You may be agreeing with my daughters about now that I’ve gone off the deep end.  That I’ve become a dirty hippie and I’m one step away from Birkenstocks and dreadlocks.  That my recent promise of not buying any new clothes and thrifting my way to a bigger wardrobe brings visions of long denim skirts and fringe vests to mind.  Yeah, it’s not a pretty picture.  Especially if you know me.  These hips just CAN’T pull off the long skirt thing.

The main reason I became a vegetarian was to avoid putting the hormones, antibiotics and other crappy stuff the meat industry was putting in our food into my body.  Yet I struggle every time I use shampoo or buy toothpaste.  I cringe when I put those Eggo Waffles in my shopping cart.  I know it’s not good for my family but 1) it’s easy, 2) it’s cheap and 3) my freaking family is picky.  Three years of me not eating meat hasn’t convinced anyone else in my family to do the same.  My working full-time leaves little time to prepare healthy meals and snacks.  Our one income (at the time) didn’t leave much money left over to buy organic (and those companies hardly EVER give coupons).  I was resigned to buying cheap deodorants and shampoos and snacks (with coupons!) and hoping the added chemicals didn’t give us cancer.

Then I stumbled on Leslie.  I love Leslie.  She showed me how easy it is to make the products I use every day cheaply and easily with stuff I already had around the house!  A little investment in a tub of Coconut Oil and some essential oils and I was on my way to a chemical free romance!

The next time you see me, ask to touch my face.  It’s smooth and soft and a lot less red than usual.  Crunchy Betty’s Oil-Cleansing Method is a miracle.

The next time you see me, stick your nose in my pits.  Take a whiff.  Or better yet, ask to smell my deodorant, since I love it so much I carry it with me.  I used Leslie’s recipe but adjusted to a different scent using tea tree oil and orange blossom oils.  Mixed with the coconut oil, it smells heavenly!

The next time you come to my house, take a look at my cabinets.  The glass fronts are gleaming so bright you need freaking sunglasses.  Thank you, Alvin Corn!  I had all the ingredients for this mixture and holy crow, it works amazing!  Better than my old standby passed down from my mom- vinegar and water.

Finally, when you see me, take a look at my damn roseacea.  My red capillaries are smaller and it doesn’t itch as much.  Using the knowledge Crunchy Betty gave me and a little internet sleuthing on my own, I came up with a natural calming toner using the new super food in my life- Apple Cider Vinegar.

Am I the last person to find out about this miracle food?  Google it.  See how good it is for you.  I’ll wait.

(Humming “Take The Last Train to Clarksville” in memory of Davey Jones, who passed away today. )

I KNOW, right?  A-mazing shit right there.  It’s good internally, externally and every ‘ternally in between.  I mixed 1/2 cup of ACV with a mug of steeped Green Tea (used two tea bags) and three drops of Tea Tree Oil.  It feels so good and refreshing after my Oil Cleanse!  I’ve been using it for a few days and already see results.

So.  Turn your nose up at me if you want- it’s not like I stink.  Sneer at me if you will.  One of my soccer moms made a comment at Zombiegirl’s soccer tournament last Saturday about my homemade deodorant and the comment was mixed with a little bit of disdain.  Whatever.  I’m putting even less chemicals in (and on) my body.  That can’t be a bad thing, even at my age, right?  And while I know the older two daughters think I’m off my rocker and would never switch to a crunchy life, I can hopefully cajole the little one to make the switch.

Crunchy Zombiegirl.  I like it.

Do YOU do anything crunchy?  Let me know- I’m very impressionable!

UPDATE:  Gak, my rosacea is flaring up like crazy today!  Might be the spicy Chipotle Burrito Bowl I had yesterday or maybe I’m using the Apple Cider Vinegar too often.  I’m going to cut it down to only at night and see what happens.  I’m not itchy at all, but I look like I heard the world’s dirtiest joke and I’m the world’s biggest prude…