Updated!

It’s been a really long time since I updated this blog. Some of the pages (at the top) were terribly old and sorely out of date. The WordPress theme was irritating me as well, so I went back to my old theme.

I had a good laugh at my “101 in 1001 days” page. All the things that were important to me at the time! All the things I didn’t do! Yeah, that needed an overhaul as well since I missed the deadline by a year.  Starting date: March 1st, 2016.

“About” has been updated with new family members and the passing of old ones.  😦

“Web Pals” and the gift list to me have been eradicated.  Most of my “pals” don’t post anymore and I seriously don’t need more “stuff”.

I added a few things to my “Bucket List” and “Links I Love”.

(Damn, posted this before I finished!  Blogging on the sly at work, with a three inch bit of screen showing is so not working.)

I haven’t been reading much other than “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and New York Magazine because something happened with my NY Public Library Card.  I’m not allowed to request books and I’m too lazy (and too cold) to walk the five very long blocks over there to straighten it out.  So my “1001 Books to Read Before I Die” has been unchanged.

I’m bringing back “F*CK You Fridays”, because even though my mood is on an even keel lately and once I get past this weekend I should be happy again, there are still some things in this world that piss me off.

And I have about two more weeks of Simplicity Challenge.

Stay tuned, y’all!

 

 

 

 

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Hello…

Hello.  My name is Sue.  And I suck.

(Wait, let me clear away these cobwebs…reaching…reaching…okay, got them.  All clean.)

Yeah, so I suck.  I get a few new readers and what do I do?  I take a powder.

I apologize, new readers.  Know this about me.  Sometimes I suck.

It’s been busy lately.  I’ve been bitten by the Halloween bug and I’ve been cooking weird things in my oven.  Plus there are costumes to make, soccer games to watch and those pesky allocations at work to get through.

But it’s almost over.  I’ll be back soon with lots of posts, creepy pictures and a few juicy F*CK You Friday posts.

In the meantime, Happy Halloween, check your boobies and take your vitamins!

You Google’d What?

I just discovered the Site Stats section of WordPress.  I can see how many people have visited this site (a lot) and how they got here by what they put into the search engine.  I made the mistake of doing this at work.  Now I have to clean my desk and my monitor.  Coffee is a bitch to get out of a keyboard…

Most of the searches are for some form of CANCER+TATTOO+RIBBON, some combination of those three words and few others thrown in like “butterfly”, “mother”, “daughter”, “honor” and the suspect “grandmother” (?)  I know I get a lot of traffic because of my tattoo posts.  The most popular search is “ivy tattoo”.  I expect those.

What I didn’t expect was the amount of Harry Potter searches:  “Veela Hair”, “ollivander snake skeleton wand”, “feather pen and ink harry potter” were among the most popular.  Also up there were a bunch of cross-stitching inquiries and for some reason, women jousting.

The ones that really cracked me up were totally random searches that listed MY BLOG as a result:

will my life be sad without children

in the gyno stirrups

shrimp basket

young girls in chucks

kock out cancer tattoo

sweeti house from hansel and gretel

what happens to blackheads that are left unpopped for a long time?

costco peppermint bark heartburn.

my bunny wants all my money and all my carrots and beena

humpday question 2

“can bedbugs jump?”

sticker stuck in my hair  (HEY! I’m not the only one!)

ripstick air wills

i will be plaque-fighting man bo diddley bop

is ellen muth anorexic or a drug addict?

kansas racoon

little freak kids.

What. The. Heck. These were literally copied and pasted from the list.  I can understand why my little blog would come up on some of these, but what I don’t understand is why the heck people are googling this stuff.  Kansas racoon?  Who the hell is Ellen Muth?  And I’m totally creeped out by the person requesting “young girls in chucks.”  Likewise the “kock out cancer tattoo” person.  Please say that’s a typo…

Ah, I have a new source of amusement for an otherwise dreary day at work.

Come On, Don’t Be Mad…

Me (sheepishly):  Hi, Blog.

Blog (nose in the air,{if blogs had noses}): I’m not speaking to you.

Me:  I know, I don’t blame you.  I’ve been neglecting you and you deserve better than that.

Blog:  Ya think?  What’ve you been doing that’s been SO important that you can’t take the time to come over here and jot something down?  Your memory sucks, that’s why I’m HERE!  (Pouts lip out {if blogs had lips}) I’ve missed you.  You make me feel as if I’m not important, not needed anymore.

Me:  No, no, sweet bloggy, I do need you! I can’t remember anything without your help!  And I’ve missed you too.  But…school ended and it’s summertime and there’s the beach house…

Blog (scoffs): You have internet access at the beach house now…

Me: Yeah, I know.  We don’t have to jack it from Jeff anymore.  I did bring my laptop out last time we went out but you know it’s all f*cked up and the cover has to be propped up and all, so it’s a pain in the neck.  And I had my work friends and Beena, John and Super Jesse and Rob out to the house and we drank a LOT.  Then we went to that free concert on the Riverfront and saw fireworks and drank a LOT.  Before you knew it, it was the Fourth of July and we all went to the beach and drank a LOT.  I don’t remember much of that weekend.

Blog (sotto voce {if blogs had a voice}) You wouldn’t remember anyway…

Me: I’m sorry!  Then, when we got home, I had to make that cake for my manager, Bill.  That took me two days to do…

Blog: At least you got the refrigerator cleaned out.  AND got playing with fondant out of your system.

Me: Yes!  See?  Never again will I play with fondant. Work was crazy, too.  I was busy.  Last week was allocation week.

Blog (interrupting): Yuck, I know how that goes.

Me: And next week Zombiegirl goes to camp.

Blog: So you’ll be on vacation!

Me: Yup.

Blog: So you’ll be able to pay more attention to me?

Me (hesitating): Um, yup…

Blog: WHAT?

Me:  Well, I’m in the middle of working on a few very important things and we’ll probably be at the beach house renovating the kitchen and I wanted to sand the floors in the upstairs hallway at home…

Blog: Riiight.  Like you’ll do any of those things.  Big plans, Mamasoo, big plans that you know you probably won’t get to.  You’ll most likely end up sitting on the beach drinking Coronas waiting for Zombiegirl to go swimming with her camp mates.

Me: Bud Lime.

Blog: What?

Me: Bud Lime.  That’s what I’m drinking these days.  Or Jack and Diet Coke with lime.  Really, anything with lime.

Blog: Argh!  (rolls eyes {if blogs had eyes}) Okay, whatever.  I’m sure you’d much rather be drinking on the beach than doing any of those “important” projects.  Be realistic.  You won’t get anything done, so you’ll have all the time in the world to catch up here with the posts you’ve already drafted and all the stuff you’ve been meaning to write about.  And I need my pictures cleaned out so you can upload more.  You need to post about your dad’s birthday gift to you and you KNOW that post is going to be picture heavy.

Me: Yeah, well, I’ll try.  I do have a lot to write down.   I need to go through my Web Pals and Links I Love pages as well.  Seems I’m not the only one not updating their blog lately.

Blog: Concern yourself with me first before you start visiting other people’s blogs.

Me:  Don’t get your panties in a bunch.

Blog (laughing out loud):  If blogs only wore panties.

At Least I’m Not in Japan

Hello Fruitcups…still here?

Things aren’t going any better around here.  I think about this blog constantly and all the things I want to put down into words, but I’ve been really busy at work since it’s my quarterly deadline and when I get home it’s rushing hither and yon to  soccer games and now, softball practices, parades and pictures.

I’m pooped.  And emotionally disturbed.  But then, you knew that…

I’ve been so distracted and disturbed lately that I’ve left my wallet home twice in the past week, locked myself out of the house, yelled at the kid numerous times, pissed numerous people off, caught conjunctivitis and have woken up with a headache EVERY freaking day these past two weeks, many of them developing into migraines.  Yay for me!

When I complain to MR about my woes, he tells me (very wisely) that AT LEAST I’M NOT IN JAPAN.

Hmm.  Yup.  I guess I should be counting my blessings:

  • I’m not pregnant
  • I’m still employed
  • Out of the 30 Metrocards in my pocketbook I can find one that will get me home.
  • There are new friends in my life.
  • There are new OLD friends in my life.
  • Zombiegirl’s stupid name for her new softball team is…go on, guess.  Yes, the Panthers.  Now I won’t be confused about which game I’m at and can cheer on ALL the Panthers.
  • I’m on vacation over the Easter break.  Although we won’t be going to Hilton Head, we have tons of stuff planned.  Best of all, I get to sleep late if Maggie the cat lets me.
  • No one in my house is suffering from sickness or allergies.  Unless you count my pink-eye.
  • I’ve discovered a new bus stop on the N6 line that allows me, 9 times out of 10, to get a seat.  It’s a civilized bus queue therefore eliminating the urge to kill line crashers and creeping ladies.
  • I’ve reached level 4-6 in Angry Birds without help.
  • Two mohitos can be nursed for four hysterical hours.
  • I get to spend Easter with my daughters and my Dad.
  • I’m going back to the gym.
  • My birthday is coming up and I’m still alive.  That’s a good thing because at this point no one would come to my funeral and there would be no pictures of me at said funeral…
  • I can wear bright green nail polish and not care what anyone says about it!

Hold tight, fruitcups.  There’s going to be a flurry of blogs, sewing and stuff sent out before the month ends.  Unless an earthquake or tsunami hits in the next few days.  That would suck.

Hitting the Wall

I’ve started and erased this post about six times already. 

I have so much to say, so much to write, so much to record and remember yet I don’t have the emotional energy to do it.

I’ve hit a wall.  Or rather, the wall has tumbled down and hit me first. 

There are emotional bricks laying on my heart and bashing me in the head and they’re making it hard for me to form cohesive thoughts.  I’d usually lay these thoughts out here- get it off my chest- but this time, they’re not for public consumption. 

Bear with me while I rein in and deal with my feelings.  They’ll either be bottled up (my usual way of dealing with crap) or they’ll be exploding and the aftermath won’t be pretty.  Too many thoughts are racing around my head and they’re going too fast for me to reach out, grab one and write.

Other that that, everything is just…peachy.

The cupcakes, btw, were Panthers…the stupid name of Zombiegirl’s travel soccer team.  The Google search results yielded up “Pink Panther” cupcakes and fondant sculpted panthers which were cute, but not practical considering I had to make 48 of them.

Jansie- email me your mailing address and I’ll send you something for playing anyway!  Kim…I know where you live!