It’s baaack! Did you miss F*CK YOU Fridays? I did. I tried to be good…
- F*CK you to the parent at the softball game today who just couldn’t understand why her daughter was subbed out in the 4th inning. She didn’t only play “ten minutes” (you were late) and she wasn’t “sitting in isolation”. Everybody plays, even the JV girls that were brought up. You literally sat there for an hour complaining (loudly) about how much you hate the coach, that it isn’t fair that your kid wasn’t playing even though she hasn’t missed one practice, and on and on and on. Shut the f*ck up and f*ck you for making the rest of OUR daughter’s game miserable. You write that nasty letter to the couch like you threatened…see if she makes Varsity next year.
- F*CK you to the 78 people I invited to this year’s Sparkletini party who didn’t even bother to respond to the invitation. I wanted to help out my friend with her jewelry business and she in turn was going to give a portion of her commission to Zombiegirl’s soccer team as a fundraiser. I’m grateful to all the people who did come (four) and who did order (four more) but those people who didn’t even respond back (six of whom are parents on the soccer team) can kiss my ass. I’m done supporting other people’s business ventures or going to parties so you can get hostess points (except for you, Jan!) I know times are tight but FREE MARTINIS! I would have been happy if you came just to support. Not to even respond back is an asshole move.
- F*CK you to my body. You’re betraying me, dude. I try to eat right for you, I try not to put bad shit into you and sometimes I even take you for a walk. Why are you always causing me pain? I’ve been in constant dull, aggravating pain for awhile now and it’s getting to the point where I’m going to have to see a doctor to confirm a few suspicions I have. You don’t let me sleep anymore and you throw me off balance and I’ve had it. F*CK you for getting old.
- And a F*CK you to a specific body part- my uterus. Ten months I haven’t had a period and you decide to remind me that you’re still around ON MY BIRTHDAY? Timing, my friend- you suck at it.
- F*CK you to all the presidential candidates this year. F*CK you to all the American youth who think voting for Bernie will give you a free college education. F*CK you to Hillary for even existing. F*CK you to all those people planning on voting for Hill just because she’s a woman. F*CK you to Trump for being a clown. I am depressed just thinking about the upcoming November election.
- F*CK YOU, Mayim Bialik. I loved you on Blossom and I love you on The Big Bang Theory, but your piece on Game of Thrones was crap. Don’t talk about things you don’t know of (you admitted you haven’t watched the show) and don’t try to put an anti-feminist spin on GOT. Compare some of the strongest women on TV against your character who just wants to have sex with Sheldon and get back to us, m’kay?
Anyone have any F*CK YOUs you want to list? It feels so good to get it off your chest. Speaking of chest, I’m off to get my boobs squeezed by a perfect stranger. Don’t forget to schedule your yearly mammogram!