Hoarders: Buried Alive

(Announcer voice)
Now, on the next episode of Hoarders, we visit Long Island, New York, home of Mamasoo.

Here we see her office worktable. How many unfinished craft projects can you find? (We counted 16 without moving things around.) Precariously stacked ceramic pieces, precious cross stitching, a tiara (?) all items haphazardly thrown onto the table which it starting to buckle under the strain of broken promises and wet craft glue.

Turning around (slowly, we don’t want to knock anything over) we focus on her closet, jammed pack with batting, a box of Christmas projects and a bag of paper towel tubes. We ask Mamasoo what she has planned for all these things and when she thinks she might start cleaning up. She shrugs her shoulders, puts on a weak smile and says, “I can’t start anything until my work table is cleaned off”.

“When might that be?”, we ask.

“When I find room in the closet.” Clearly, she has avoidance issues.

Circling around the room, we spy her filing “system” that has toppled over like a Mayan temple this coming December. Expensive video gaming equipment piled in the corner by the bookcase has a layer of dust coating it. The saddest aspect of this room is the Winnie the Pooh border on the wall- a remainder of the loving decorations when her daughter, Zombiegirl used to occupy this room…eight years ago.

Last and probably the most horrifying corner of this little hell this dear, sweet woman works in is her desk, piled high with half-completed sewing projects, papers spit out and left from her printer and video games played and abandoned. There sits her “laptop”, tied to the desk, it’s portability long gone. And what’s this? What has she been sitting on for days, once again avoiding the horror of the condition of her room?

(If there are small children or persons with weak constitutions, it might be wise to turn away…)

Oh. My. Word. It’s…it’s a frog. She’s been sitting on a rubber frog while on the computer. We asked Mamasoo what was going on with the frog.

“I don’t know, I moved it from one place to another and never moved it back.”

“But you sit on it every time you go on the computer!”

“Um…I don’t feel it. He’s kind of squishy and I have a big a(BLEEP).”

Let’s take a look at what has Mamasoo so preoccupied that she not only let her office grow out of control, but doesn’t even feel when she’s sitting on…a frog…

(Camera pans to the monitor)

Oh, of course. Now we understand why nothing has been getting done and why Mamasoo’s hoarding problem has escalated. It is definitely an addiction called…

(Cue dramatic music)

Words With Friends.

(Cue end music and roll credits)

The End.

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4 thoughts on “Hoarders: Buried Alive

  1. My office looks very much like yours. One question though…why is my name the only one NOT blacked out on your Words with Friends game????

    • Jan, I have no idea. I know I sprayed it out because I thought to myself “why does she have such a freaking long name?” I must have hit undone at some point. It’s blacked out. Your secret identity is once more safe!

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