Trainwreck

My cup runneth over with F*CK You’s.  So many and so vile that it may end a few relationships if I actually wrote them down and published them.

Bitter.  Resentful.  Hateful, even.  It would not be pretty.  I have emptied the shelf at Duane Reade of Black Cohosh, it’s that bad.

Instead, I’m going to post things that I’ve found on the Internet that I want- no, NEED.  Things that will make my day a little brighter and maybe turn these furrowing frown marks into a wisp of a smile.

I need more zombies.  And more gnomes.  This satisfies both desires:

Nom, nom, nom.

I’ve decided I’m going to start collecting snippy t-shirts to wear to soccer games and grocery shopping.  Here are two I MUST have:

When I’m PMS’ing, in a foul mood or just down in the dumps, I usually turn to chocolate.  Someone tell me where to buy THESE:

Nom, yum, nom.

Mix and match.  Insert and stack.  Experiment with different flavors.  Pure genius.

Even though I haven’t had bacon in over a year, I still want these in my stocking for Christmas:

Nom, nom, oink...

I’ve tried the Roomba and all it did was end up getting clogged with dog hair.  On the upside, it terrorized the dog, which is always fun.  If I had this, I could run it every day and my floors would be pristine, my family could stop ingesting dog hair and it would probably still chase the dog around:I sleep like the dead.  Nothing wakes me up once I’m out.  But in the morning I pay for sleeping on our 14-year old mattress. So, since I’m wishing, I might as well wish for this organic beauty:

The Bloggess’s red dress.  Because I’m worth it.  And if I keep saying that, I might be.

Alas, I won’t be buying any of these things any time soon.  Unless I can scrounge up a coupon or two…

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