My cup runneth over with F*CK You’s. So many and so vile that it may end a few relationships if I actually wrote them down and published them.
Bitter. Resentful. Hateful, even. It would not be pretty. I have emptied the shelf at Duane Reade of Black Cohosh, it’s that bad.
Instead, I’m going to post things that I’ve found on the Internet that I want- no, NEED. Things that will make my day a little brighter and maybe turn these furrowing frown marks into a wisp of a smile.
I need more zombies. And more gnomes. This satisfies both desires:
I’ve decided I’m going to start collecting snippy t-shirts to wear to soccer games and grocery shopping. Here are two I MUST have:
When I’m PMS’ing, in a foul mood or just down in the dumps, I usually turn to chocolate. Someone tell me where to buy THESE:
Mix and match. Insert and stack. Experiment with different flavors. Pure genius.
Even though I haven’t had bacon in over a year, I still want these in my stocking for Christmas:
I’ve tried the Roomba and all it did was end up getting clogged with dog hair. On the upside, it terrorized the dog, which is always fun. If I had this, I could run it every day and my floors would be pristine, my family could stop ingesting dog hair and it would probably still chase the dog around:I sleep like the dead. Nothing wakes me up once I’m out. But in the morning I pay for sleeping on our 14-year old mattress. So, since I’m wishing, I might as well wish for this organic beauty:
The Bloggess’s red dress. Because I’m worth it. And if I keep saying that, I might be.
Alas, I won’t be buying any of these things any time soon. Unless I can scrounge up a coupon or two…