It took me five days to put the previous post together.  I wrote, erased, wrote, deleted, decided not to post then finally said f*ck it all and hit the Publish button.  It’s my blog, after all, and I have to tell my story, good and bad.   And I knew I once I posted I would get a phone call from Dr. S.

Maybe he reads my blog.  Or maybe it’s Wednesday and he said he’d let me know before Friday.

Well.  I’m not going to die.  I’m sure some of you may be upset at the thought of me living another day, but this little cervical problem I’m having is not going to be my demise.  He’s just going to freeze a few spots inside, punch them out and hopefully with regular checkups we’ll catch anything else that pops up.  Easy-peasy.

The butterflies are out of my chest and I can breathe again.

2 thoughts on “And…Breathe

  1. You know what – I read your blog because it’s real. You don’t pull your punches you simply say what you think and that is totally refreshing in this overly PC world – thank you. When I had my first abnormal smear I had the same reaction that you have had – well first I started stressing that I’d never have kids (I now have two) and then that it was the beginning of the end. 8 years later I’ve had many, many colposcopy’s, a baby, a LLETZ biopsy, a miscarriage (due to that LLETZ I’m sure), a “threatened” pre-term birth (again pretty sure it was due to that LLETZ),a healthy full term baby, another LLETZ biopsy and finally I’m on a waiting list for a hysterectomy – and it’s STILL PRE cancerous. A lot of people stress about the whole hyserectomy thing and I’ll be honest I’m not dancing for joy but I KNOW that I’m doing everything I can to ward off that nasty little cancer cell before it get’s it’s hooks into me – I want to be around to watch my kids grow up. What I’m trying to say (not very well) is that you can let those butterflies go – I might just be one of the lucky ones but there are a lot of us out there and if you keep a check on things, like you are obviously doing, you will be able to breathe easy. I’m hoping that for me I’ll still be PRE cancerous in another 8 years of colposcopy’s!

    • Jodie- A great big THANK YOU for your kind words about the blog and another one for letting me know that I am in no way alone in this crazy gynecological turmoil. As I speak to more and more people, it’s seems it’s quite common, not only with people my age group (downhill slide to 50) but in people much, much younger. It’s both comforting and dismaying to know that others have gone through this. And after reading through your comment, I want to send you a big hug for all that you’ve gone through. Holy shit. How do you stay sane through all this? Keep me posted on what’s going on, please? I hate to say it, but you’ve probably become an expert in this field and I may need your advice someday!


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