Come On, Don’t Be Mad…

Me (sheepishly):  Hi, Blog.

Blog (nose in the air,{if blogs had noses}): I’m not speaking to you.

Me:  I know, I don’t blame you.  I’ve been neglecting you and you deserve better than that.

Blog:  Ya think?  What’ve you been doing that’s been SO important that you can’t take the time to come over here and jot something down?  Your memory sucks, that’s why I’m HERE!  (Pouts lip out {if blogs had lips}) I’ve missed you.  You make me feel as if I’m not important, not needed anymore.

Me:  No, no, sweet bloggy, I do need you! I can’t remember anything without your help!  And I’ve missed you too.  But…school ended and it’s summertime and there’s the beach house…

Blog (scoffs): You have internet access at the beach house now…

Me: Yeah, I know.  We don’t have to jack it from Jeff anymore.  I did bring my laptop out last time we went out but you know it’s all f*cked up and the cover has to be propped up and all, so it’s a pain in the neck.  And I had my work friends and Beena, John and Super Jesse and Rob out to the house and we drank a LOT.  Then we went to that free concert on the Riverfront and saw fireworks and drank a LOT.  Before you knew it, it was the Fourth of July and we all went to the beach and drank a LOT.  I don’t remember much of that weekend.

Blog (sotto voce {if blogs had a voice}) You wouldn’t remember anyway…

Me: I’m sorry!  Then, when we got home, I had to make that cake for my manager, Bill.  That took me two days to do…

Blog: At least you got the refrigerator cleaned out.  AND got playing with fondant out of your system.

Me: Yes!  See?  Never again will I play with fondant. Work was crazy, too.  I was busy.  Last week was allocation week.

Blog (interrupting): Yuck, I know how that goes.

Me: And next week Zombiegirl goes to camp.

Blog: So you’ll be on vacation!

Me: Yup.

Blog: So you’ll be able to pay more attention to me?

Me (hesitating): Um, yup…

Blog: WHAT?

Me:  Well, I’m in the middle of working on a few very important things and we’ll probably be at the beach house renovating the kitchen and I wanted to sand the floors in the upstairs hallway at home…

Blog: Riiight.  Like you’ll do any of those things.  Big plans, Mamasoo, big plans that you know you probably won’t get to.  You’ll most likely end up sitting on the beach drinking Coronas waiting for Zombiegirl to go swimming with her camp mates.

Me: Bud Lime.

Blog: What?

Me: Bud Lime.  That’s what I’m drinking these days.  Or Jack and Diet Coke with lime.  Really, anything with lime.

Blog: Argh!  (rolls eyes {if blogs had eyes}) Okay, whatever.  I’m sure you’d much rather be drinking on the beach than doing any of those “important” projects.  Be realistic.  You won’t get anything done, so you’ll have all the time in the world to catch up here with the posts you’ve already drafted and all the stuff you’ve been meaning to write about.  And I need my pictures cleaned out so you can upload more.  You need to post about your dad’s birthday gift to you and you KNOW that post is going to be picture heavy.

Me: Yeah, well, I’ll try.  I do have a lot to write down.   I need to go through my Web Pals and Links I Love pages as well.  Seems I’m not the only one not updating their blog lately.

Blog: Concern yourself with me first before you start visiting other people’s blogs.

Me:  Don’t get your panties in a bunch.

Blog (laughing out loud):  If blogs only wore panties.

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