Free at Last, Free at Last

If you’re looking for the Sew Mama Sew giveaway, it’s HERE.  All your comments are so sweet, I wish I had enough tutus for everyone!

What do you think is the best feeling in the world? 

I like when I get all swishy in the tummy when my kids smile (their real smiles, not their fake smiles), when I hear Zombiegirl laugh or when MR looks at me in just the right way.  That swishy feeling is good- great even- but I’m talking about a purely physical feeling, not the ones brought on by emotion.  Such as a back scratched, a foot rubbed, okay look away, squemish family members… sex or a strong, solid hug. 

I’m a physical being.  I liked my feet rubbed and my back scratched.  I like hugs and kisses and licks and nibbles.  Trace your finger up and down my arm and I’m in heaven.

Especially when I have a migraine. 

For almost a week now I’ve woken up with a really bad headache bordering on a migraine.  I know it’s the crazy rainy weather, but I can’t do anything about that.  I’m “overdrawn” at the acupuncturist- my insurance will only pay for 12 sessions a year and I’m already up to 16 so I can’t go back until I either fight with the insurance company or pay for the treatments myself, which right now is not an option.  So I take Excedrin for migraines, pop some Peanut M&M’s and overdose on coffee while the headache/migraine snickers behind my back.

After battling the pain all day yesterday, sitting in a few stupid meetings and attending Zombiegirl’s Middle School Spring concert last night, I was ready to bash my head in with a hammer.  Since it was too much trouble to go down to MR’s workroom to find a hammer, I opted for laying on the couch to stare at the television.  MR came up and scootched my legs up and slid under them and scratched up and down my bare legs while I zoned out.  I didn’t know which felt better- the scratching or the zoning.  He put me in a semi-trance where I could, for a while, forget my pain.

Then he stopped.  He always does.  Damn it, why can’t he go on touching and scratching and caressing for hours and hours?  Selfish beast…

We went to bed and I knew I was in trouble because I kept tossing and turning trying to find a cool spot on the pillow.  If being vertical hurt my head during the day, being horizontal at night was agony.  After about an hour (and no chance of MR scratching one of my body parts because he fell asleep, inconsiderate cad that he is…) I got up and went back to the couch with a bag of frozen edamames for my head and a box of M&M’s.  I know the Simpson’s were on, but I saw everything through a haze of pain and registered nothing.  When Kansas came home from work, she took one look at me and asked me why I was crying.

But I wasn’t, and I hadn’t.  At least not yet.  Seems the pressure in my head caused my eyes to swell and turn red. 

Where’s that hammer?

After a while I got sleepy enough that no amount of pain would dare keep me awake, so I went back to bed.  This morning the sun streaming through my window and the chirp of the new baby birds woke me up before the alarm did.  And I felt the best feeling in the world…

…the absence of pain.  It was almost like a hole where a migraine should be.  I shook my head a little…nope, nothing.  Like an evil bubble burst and I was left with the sweet nothingness without even an afterthought.  And so far, it hasn’t come back.

The best feeling in the world?  Sometimes it’s not feeling a thing.


2 thoughts on “Free at Last, Free at Last


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