I’m having mixed emotions these last few days. The emotion rollercoaster has left the platform.
Zombiegirl started Middle School yesterday. Middle-freaking-school. No more elementary school for this family. Another milestone has been reached. This kid isn’t a little kid anymore and that saddens me to the extreme. My baby girl is growing up and soon will be too big to snuggle, too cool to tickle. My heart aches for the feety pajamas, the binkies and the training wheels. They’ve been replaced by tank tops, Converse and Ripsticks. Sigh. The innocence is going quickly and the attitude is coming on strong. Which leads me to the next bend in the coater ride- how annoyed this kid makes me!
It’s not her, really. She’s a great kid. It’s the hormones working and the new experiences she has to face that sometimes make her a little monster. Add to the mix my emotional hormonal state and you’ll witness an invisible Tug O’Wills in my house hourly. I know this will pass. I’m counting my blessings that she’s not becoming a crazed lunatic and that we can still talk in human tones and for now, she still needs me.
The rollercoaster is cresting that giant hill now and I’m terrified. Because? Well, look:
Whoa. When did this happen? When did she become a little hottie? She’s always been cute, but whoa. And I swear, I didn’t pose her- we take this picture in front of the tree every year on the first day of school. I look at these pictures and I can see her at 16 and I. Am. Terrified. MR better start cleaning the guns.
One more sweep around a hairpin turn. Anticipation and enthusiasm is taken over by exasperation as Beena starts her first day of graduate school. She’s excited that she’s going to be student teaching in an actual classroom but daunted by the amount of work she has to do this semester. Adding to that the amount of studying she has to do for her teacher’s certification and the pressures of working an almost full time job means she’s not a happy camper. I want to bundle her up and snuggle her and keep her safe and content, but I know she’d smack me if I tried. So I’ll send her good vibes and lend an ear to listen to her complain. She’s tough and smart- she’ll get through this ride.
The coaster is now slowing down and I can catch my breath and reflect on the ride. How proud I am of my kids and how well they’re turning out even though those peaks and twists are scary as hell. I have a feeling this year will be a really good year. After kindergarten, the kids are split up based on neighborhood location. They come together again in Middle School, so now Z-girl is seeing all her old friends again after five years and now has classes with the majority of her soccer team. I get to see my soccer moms off the field as well!
And the payoff for a grueling year of Grad School? Graduation and no more classes! (At least not the kind she hates.) Beena’s been prepping her whole life to be a teacher and in a few short months her dream will be realized. She’ll be getting off one ride and queing up to ride the bigger, better coaster.
As for me, I’m going to wander around the amusement park for awhile and try to find a nice, quiet kiddie ride…