I Don’t Get It

No F*ck You Friday today.  Nothing has really pissed me off since the last installment of FYF.  We had a great Memorial Day weekend at the Hampden Soccer Tournament in Harrisburg, PA then at Hershey Park on Memorial Day itself.   I’ll post about all that shortly.  Work has been, well, work.  Nothing too troublesome there.  I haven’t been on the bus, so I haven’t had to deal with those crazies.  I’ll be PMS’ing next week, so I’m sure something will tick me off eventually.

I have, however, been coming across certain situations that have left me scratching my head in either disbelief or mild confusion.  I Don’t Get It is kind of milder F*ck You Friday, whereas I question the insanity of what I’ve encountered.  If any of you disagree, by all means, clear up my confusion.

Such as:

I Don’t Get breed loyalty.  As in dogs.  I overheard a woman talking (loudly, of course) about her “Mastiff”.  With a capital M.  She didn’t use the dog’s name, or even acknowledge that it was a dog.  She spoke of how her “Mastiff” liked to swim, and every time they went to the beach, they took her “Mastiff” with them.  Her “Mastiff” was going on five years old, and he still acted like a puppy.  The man she was talking to had a dachshund, but he didn’t bring up the fact that the dog was a dachshund every time he mentioned it.  Same thing with an acquaintance of mine.  They constantly talk about “our Boxer”.  It’s obvious that these people love their dogs, but why constantly talk about the breed?  Use the dog’s name- I would much rather hear about “Bootsy” sleeping on the couch than how “our Westie” poops on the rug.  It’s. A. Dog.  Personally, I think anyone spending more than $50 at the local shelter for a dog is insane.  The people who had Spencer before us spent close to $500 for him, and he’s the dumbest thing on the planet.  Cute, but dumb.  I don’t go around saying “My Yellow Lab eats his poop everyday,” do I?  See how silly that sounds? 

I Don’t Get leggings.  When did these come back in style?  I wore leggings back when my older kids were small.  I loved the fit- they were so comfortable and stretchy.  They went so well under tunics and long sweaters (this WAS the ’90’s, remember.)  I was also 30 pounds lighter and in better shape.  Why on God’s green earth would a not-so-in-shape woman wear these things out in public?  With a short shirt?  You have to be in great shape for your butt in leggings to be shown.  I think they are really meant to be worn under short dresses or those flowing long tops.  COVERING YOUR BUTT!  I’ve seen these pants walking the streets of New York stretched so far over fat asses the material has worn thin and has actually lost its color.  Please- save humanity and cover it up?

I Don’t Get why people have to go through all their ringtones on public transportation.  Change your tone at home.  It’s getting to a point where I can predict what the next tone is going to be because I hear this annoying lineup so much.

I Don’t Get flip flops.  Do they still call them flip flops?  Or is the term “thong” used for shoewear as well?  They’re definitely not sandals.  Sandals don’t perform toe segregation.  I know, it’s a personal thing with me- I can’t STAND anything between my toes.  It’s a sensitive area.  I don’t begrudge anyone wearing these things.  But…the sound they make.  Fwap, fwap, fwap on the sidewalk.  Amplify it by 100 when they’re walking in the subway.  How can one stand making that noise?  I have a pair of slip on low heels that make that sound.  I actually try to walk quieter when I’m wearing them.  And support?  Those flip-flop things offer none.  What’s going to happen to your arches when you get older, little fwap fwap girl?

I Don’t Get taking your baby to an amusement park.  We saw all kinds of people this past weekend at Hershey.  Mixed race couples, mixed age couples, same sex couples, Muslims, Amish, Orthodox, Jersey Shore, tattooed.  It was nice to see so many different people enjoying a day at the park.  What confused me, however, were the couples with babies.  No other children- just babies in strollers.  They didn’t have other people with them, either.  When Beena was eight months old, we took a road trip to Disney World with another couple.  We took turns watching the kid and going on the rides.  Why would a couple spend $50 each to take a baby to a park and NOT go on rides?  There isn’t that much more to Hershey Park or Six Flags or Dorney Park than rides.  And riding the rides alone just isn’t fun.  It wasn’t just one or two instances.  I saw a lot of couples with babies enough to question- what are you thinking?

I Don’t Get Lacrosse.  Soccer on a stick?  Hockey on grass?  At least with those games, there is the chance the opposing side can steal the ball/puck.  With lacrosse, it just seems once you get the ball, you keep it safe in the little net-sticky thing and run like hell to the goal and throw it in.  How can anyone get it away from you?  From the Online Guide to Lacrosse rules:

  • A player may gain possession of the ball by dislodging it from an opponent’s crosse with a stick check, which includes the controlled poking and slapping of the stick and gloved hands of the player in possession of the ball.
  • Have you seen the size of these net-sticks?  They’re not very big.  It’s not like a player on the other team can stick their net-stick into yours and steal it.  So you have to try to “slap” it out?  Really?  In soccer, you get the players who think they’re superstars- getting the ball and running up with it and trying to score- not passing to their team mates.  Lacrosse seems to condone that.  Once you have the ball, it’s up to you try to score.  Where’s the teamwork in that?  And then there’s this rule:

  • Body checking is permitted if the opponent has the ball. However, all contact must occur from the front or side, above the waist and below the shoulders. An opponent’s crosse may also be stick checked if it is within five yards of a loose ball or ball in the air.
  • Yeah.  Right.  I would never let my kid play this sport.  I’m finding it hard now watching Zombiegirl play soccer and not lose my mind when someone from the other team is rough with our girls, pushing and shoving and tripping them.  I don’t get the whole lacrosse thing.

    Clue me in.  Tell me different.  Make me see the light.

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