Brrrrrr

Sorry for the vulgarity, people but-

I hate fucking winter.

Probably because it hates me.

I work in midtown Manhattan. I walk six blocks from the train station to my buildings. By the time I get to my office, my already ruddy cheeks are stinging, my sensitive eyes are streaming tears and the poor circulation in my toes are making them even colder.

This morning this skinny bitch in high heels, short skirt and coat open traipses past me crossing Madison Avenue. We walk a full block and a half together- her in front, me observing behind. She has on no hat, no gloves, no scarf and…NO PANTYHOSE. She looks like she stepped out of a Vogue ad.

WTF?

My nose is red and I can’t see straight because my eyes are watery. I’m bundled up in my kitty hat, gloves, scarf and coat. I have tights on under my pants. I’m wearing two pairs of socks. It’s 2:17 pm and I’m still cold.

Am I not wearing the right winter gear? With all my natural padding, I should be as warm as a polar bear. But no, I’m shivering all day long.

How do people in Fargo, North Dakota deal with this? Why on earth would one live in Minnesota? I heard two people on the elevator this morning saying Boston was 10 times worse with the wind coming in from the ocean. Why would you live there? Why am I still living in frosty New York?

I didn’t always hate winter. I loved to ski when I was younger and I was always out making snowmen and having snowball fights with my friends. And back then we didn’t have ski gloves or Thinsulate. We had hand knit mittens that stretched out when they got wet and the snow formed a crust between your fingers because of the wool. I wore jeans with thermal long johns and socks and sneakers. Or rubber boots that had to be put over your shoes with bread bags so they would slip on easier. Fleece and Under Armour were a thing of the future. Did I complain about the cold back then? Probably, but it certainly didn’t affect me like it does now.

Maybe it’s MENOPAUSE!

Maybe it’s seriously time to look into moving. Z-girl would adapt, especially if we threw in a pool. Or a pony. Even a bigger room.

Either that or I invest in some Under Armour.

It’s too freaking cold.

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