NaBloPoMo # 17

Hey everyone, this is Beena posting for Mom while she is away still camping. So today is my day to blog. I wasn’t going to until Mom talked me into it, and plus she sounded pretty desperate. I mean, she posted it twice on facebook with no responses. I told Mom that I had no idea what to write about. I’m a math major, not an english major. Mom suggested I blog about work. Ugh I hate work these days. I wasn’t going to until I had the most awful week there.

So these past two weeks are what we call a floorset in retail world. It’s back to school and soon all the bratty teenagers will be in here demanding all the new clothes while their stressed out mothers pick up the tab. This floorset involves practically rearranging the whole store moving the old to the back and the new to the front. We have had shipment almost every day (opposed to 3 times a week), oh, and did I mention there is a deadline to get it done. So it’s safe to say everyone is pretty stressed out. Add that to the crazy customers we got in there today, makes for a good post. (Well at least I think so).

Today topped the cake. There is so much to do and all of our regular crazies came in today. So I decided to make a list of things NOT to do when you go into a retail store. Please, take my advice. Imp practically begging at this point. As a matter of fact, after this post, I might just go and write down the web address on every receipt so all the customers can read it too. Also, I am sorry if I sound mean. Ask Mom; once you get me started on work, I can’t shut up.

•This is a junior store. I know that you might want to fit into the clothes here, but in reality, you probably can’t. No, it’s not because everything runs small. No, it’s not because it must be the way it’s made. It is because it is made for 12-23 year olds. (23 is even pushing it but we do have some clubby tops and sexy lingerie that I can’t see 12 year olds using.) When you ask me why you can’t fit into your small top, I will try my best to be nice and say “well, it is a junior store”. Please save the awkwardness and don’t even ask. This is also a GIRLS junior store. No, we don’t sell men’s clothing.

•I know that you really really need that shirt ten minutes AFTER we close, but I am really not going to let you in. No matter how hard you beg. So please stop banging on the window.

•As a matter of fact, I do have a life outside of work so when you arrive at the door, look at the time we close, realize that that time is 1.5 minutes away, please walk away. Do not come in.

•Just because I work in retail, does not mean I am stupid. Again, I’m a math major. Please don’t come up to the register with a “50% off NOW 3.99” sticker you ripped off and stuck on the brand new $40 dress. I can do math.

•When you see that I am reworking an area, this does not mean that new merchandise is going out. So please stop standing right where I need to put the giant stack of shoes, and then knock them down when you start to look at them because you think they are new.

•If the first 4 doors you try in the fitting room are locked, there is no need to continue checking. They are all probably locked.

•Speaking of the fitting room, once you realize the bell goes off when you stand under it, please don’t stop in the doorway. This will not make me come to you any faster. Also, there is a sign there that says “6 items allowed” so when I ask you how many you have please don’t tell me “a lot” and expect me to open the room for you, this will not save you from counting your 100 items.

•I am very sorry to tell you that retail is out to confuse you. But by now, I hope that you will have already figured this out. Maybe not. Please, do not come up to me and tell me that your $20 shoes are $7.99 because you found it on the “$7.99 rack” my answer to you will automatically be “and up”. Every sign says it. Somewhere.

•No, there are no coupons out right now for you. Even if there were, why should I give you one? Please stop asking me.

•My wonderful retail store pays me. I do not get extra for babysitting, nor do you pay me for babysitting. Please watch your kids. It is not in my job description.

•I have a name. You might not know it but you may certainly not call me by any of the following:
o “Psst”
o “Baby”
o “Yoo hoo”
o “Hello??”
o “Lady”
•Last but not least, before you ask; yes I work here. What gave it away? My bright blue neck lanyard? My smiling face? The fact that you just saw me behind the register?

Ughh.

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