My last “thankfulness” post was on the 24th. The day after, I got stuck. Not trying to think up a post, but life in general got stuck. Two days before Thanksgiving, we got word that my mom’s cancer is inoperable. I had posted that her cancer had come back after her last surgery only 5 months ago. The new surgeon saw her and her PET scan and was worried about a shadow at the base of her skull. He sent her for a CAT scan, and for one grueling week we waited for him to look at it. The news came back bad. The tumor is going into the brain, and she has two tumors on the other side of her neck. They can’t operate, and chemotherapy at this point would be experimental, and cause her body even more distress than she’s in. Radiation isn’t an option. Pain management and hospice care were the recommendations.
How does one go on with life sanely knowing these growths are in your body sucking away your life force?
My mom’s my hero. I can’t imagine what she’s going through. She can’t eat and can’t hear, and she’s being so brave about everything. And my dad…he’s being such a trooper. What can I possibly say to ease their pain? What can anyone do? It’s hard. Everything I say seems trivial, and I don’t know what to do for them. So we visit, and we hug.
So I’m finishing up the thankfulnesses now- starting with my parents. I’m thankful for my wonderful husband. My kids. My in-laws. My nieces and nephew. My family- aunts, uncles and cousins. My friends. My soccer moms. St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church. The pets. And, of course, God. I truly have alot to be thankful for this Holiday Season.